How to deal with Breakup

Every relationship is based on the peeling our deepest secretive thoughts & emotions and unveiling our body to our partner. We are all aware that this peeling & unveiling makes us vulnerable. To be on the safer side we avoid such intimacy with a stranger till we are ensured of trust by our partner.

Breakups if not planned mutually leaves the person on the receiving end with a feeling of nudity, vulnerability, helpless, betrayal, cheating, exploited and many such feelings. If it is a left unattended can cause abscess or canker.

Thus, it is very important that such a wound is given heed to and facilitated for healing.

Let me narrate my experience of the dread shared by one of my clients coming to me after a breakup and attempted suicide. A young girl in her early 20s was working in a BPO industry. She lived alone in the city wanting to make a mark for herself. Staying alone she found a mate online whom she got drawn to. The man equally reciprocated and they decided to marry. As it was an online relationship, they decided to meet to fix the marriage. On the day he was supposed to come over she got information that he does not plan to come as he indeed fell in love with another girl who works with him in his office. This news broke my client as if her world ended thus, she took overdose of sleeping pills. Although she was saved by her landlord and was admitted for few days in hospital. Her healing took months of her expression of her feeling of not good enough, unwanted and betrayal.

Another story starts with my X-client giving me a panic call as one of his friends asked him if he could help him to precure gun to kill himself because his not even one month old marriage seems to be shattered as his wife left for her hostel where she was studying and not taking any calls of his. This one-month-old marriage was coming to an end because the husband had promised her that she can pursue her education and career after marriage but after marriage the husband did not want her to go to her hostel and attend patients because of COVID-19. The therapy made him see her dreams and made him realise that to bridge his marriage he must accept her dreams or lose her for ever.

Every story of Breakup is as painful as the perceived sense of deception and the sense of loss which can be healed in therapy.

You can consult with Ms Deepali Bedi Clinical Psychologist/Psychotherapist, Sukoon Psychotherapy Center – 91-9899641407